Thanksgiving

Robert proposed to me on Thanksgiving. About a million years ago! (Okay, in 1990). I have a lot to be Thankful for. I have 3 healthy-amazing-sarcastic children, a husband that I adore, all my family is close by, a strong church, great friends, my fellow Warriors at Home that understand, steady income, shelter, health insurance, great doctors, a thriving photography business...I can go on and on.

The holidays are bittersweet. I hurt for my friend, Suzy, and neighbor, Jan, that recently lost their husbands and will spend the holidays without them. I hurt for my kids that LOVE getting together with our awesome crazy family but long to have their dad home, I hurt for Robert for wishing he were with us as we get together with our friends and family. It's amazing how you can be in a room full of friends and loved ones and feel alone at the same time.

Fortunately for me, my husband will be home in a few months. And that is something else to be thankful for. When you are gathered with your families this holiday season, please pray for those soldiers that are in harms way, and for their families trying so hard to keep it together back home. I am so thankful for the power of prayer:)

I did it

I've lost 45lbs! I've gone down 4 pant sizes. Whoo hoo! When people ask me how I did it, I tell them the common sense diet. If it's fattening, don't eat it! You don't need a diet with a title-South Beach, Atkins, etc. We all know what is good for you and what isn't. Throw in lots of water, no late night snacking, and lots of exercise and BAM....45lbs:) I go back to the doc on Dec 2nd to get the green light to start working out again. 12lbs more and I'll have hit my goal. I still need to firm up and turn this flab into muscle:) Working out has been an AMAZING stress release, it gives me energy, and it helps me sleep. I'm looking forward to getting back into the gym!

Surgery went well.

My doc removed scar tissue from my ovary laparascopically. After a D& C, she did an endometrial ablation, and tubal ligation. I'm home resting now (go vicodin!). I should be back to a normal routine after a couple of weeks. Thanks for your prayers:)

Surgery tomorrow.

Please pray for Robert, he's having a difficult time not being here for it. This is my "to do" list for today (it's noon right now):

Take Mik for a strep test
Bring in winter clothes from garage attic and have kids try them on to wash them
Clean a path in my room so mom can get to the bed (everything from remodel is in there)
School
Bible Lessons
Vision Casting forms for church
Report on Bizantine Art for Mik to do in front of art class on Friday
Take checks to bank
Pay bills
Return frame to Michaels (bought the wrong size)
Take framed prints to Ultrasound clinic to be displayed:)
Take a friends maternity pic
Get liquid diet and enema from Walgreens for today
Mail CD's to clients at Post Office
Take my van and keys to the shop to be repaired while I'm re-cooperating
Take a key to my neighbor so she can feed my cats
Shower the kids (and bail water between each one because the drain is plugged)
Pack a bag for me to take to the hospital and the kids for grandmas
Photoshop the 9 shoots that I'm behind on (hahahahah......wahhhhhhhhh)

The good thing is, being so busy will take my mind off the fact that I can only have clear liquids ALL DAY today!

3rd Place for Best Photog in Fort Wayne!

There were 130 photographers nominated. Thanks to all that voted for me! (Click to view larger).

New pics of Robert!!!1

These are from a recent ammo blow. the green thingies contain grenades, the blue tanks are propane, the bricks I believe are C4, and I'm not sure what the rest is!

Interview Sunday night on the news

Okay, I look awful and much to the chagrin of my Sophomore English teacher, Mrs Salerno, I said "um" 7 times. Click the link below and then "watch the video".


http://www.indianasnewscenter.com/news/local/29864794.html

Our article in the paper:) Click to view larger.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me........

**UPDATE** Laprascopy on October 23rd

I've been having abdominal pain for about a month now. The doc did some tests, gave me pain meds, and decided that it's most likely scar tissue from some of the 7 surgeries that I've had. I had my first physical therapy today. They are trying to using abdominal massage to break up the scar tissue to avoid another surgery. I cannot express how painful this is! I have a very high tolerance to pain and the effects of pain meds, and I think I walked out of there in shock. She said that the pain will lessen with each session. I certainly hope that she's right. I have to go back Thursday........WAH! The day after Labor Day I see my doc again to see if the 2 sessions helped. If so, I'll keep going, if not more surgery. Talk about a rock and a hard place. lol!

Remy nursing his blanket.

How cute is that!

Control freak vs. the world

I've said it before, I'm a control freak. I consciously try not to be, really I do. I bite my tongue, rationalize with myself...I've actually come a long way. But it has been a rough couple of weeks. I'm a list maker. I'm an avid calendar keeper. I'm not sure if that helps my "condition" (control freak) or makes it worse. But I haven't felt well for a couple of weeks, and that has caused me not to finish lists and I actually had to cancel a shoot on Thursday just 2 hours before. But I had some tests done, and will get the results next week and hopefully get that resolved.

I've had a crazy schedule and little sleep for 2 weeks, so I'm looking forward to slipping into a routine when school starts next week. Although I have planned on doing some "house repairs/remodeling/painting over 3 weeks in September thanks to some very dear friends and family helping me out. I will still be doing school during that time, and I'm preparing myself now for the chaos that will be out of my control during that time. It will SO be worth it! I'm anxious and excited at the same time! I can't wait to get started so we can get done. Robert will be thrilled when he gets home! Sorry, won't be posting pics because he wants to be surprised!

Robert and I both bought webcams and microphones this week:) We're having trouble with his mic, so I think I'll send him a better webcam with a built in mic and he'll sell the cheap ones that he has. It is SO amazing to see his smile again. The streaming video is so much better than still shots. The kids and I had a blast yesterday with them talking and seeing him AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

I had to take our big black cat, Nikko, to the emergency vet at midnight on Saturday night (thank you Nina for coming to stay with the sleeping kids). He had been hoarse and coughing for a couple of days, but started wheezing and foaming at the mouth. He has bronchitis! Kylie and I have to give him an antibiotic PILL every night with a contraption that is basically like a blow dart gun with a plunger. He weighs 15lbs, doesn't feel well, and fights back with all his might. Took 6 tries last night, but we got it. He is feeling much better, and he is learning to live with the relentless kitten, Remy.

Well, I need to go get some housework done. A LOT of housework done. And then photoshop. And then organize curriculum. And I'll put the other 50 things on my list for tomorrow.

Can't believe that I'm posting these...

New pics from my hubby. Sigh...

Meet Remy Malone Ross

We bought Mikala an early birthday present today. Needless to say, all of us (except Nikko) are in love! Mikala spent hours lamenting over his name.


Nikko meets Remy. Starts out slow, but the end is hilarious!

Parade

Our Warriors at Home group walked in the Three Rivers Festival parade yesterday. We won first place in the "Non-Commercial" division! Whoo hoo! Anyways, it was great. The crowd was very supportive....lots of clapping, "thank you"s, and standing ovations. Here are some pics:)

Pics from Kuwait.

Operation Welcome Home

Look at what my dad taught Mikala

Rut

Don't know why, but I'm in one. Most of you know that I didn't sleep at all during the last deployment (and when I did, I was on the couch). I started out great this deployment, and hit a wall about 2 weeks ago. I take a medication that has a "causes drowsiness" side-effect, so I take that at bedtime and had been sleeping just fine. I think 1:30 is the earliest that I've gone to bed in 2 weeks and as late as 3am (like last night). I also haven't been working out and eating as healthy as I was this past couple of weeks. I don't know which of those are causes and which are effects. Is the lack of exercise and poor diet causing me not to sleep? Or lack of sleep making lazy? Anyways, I'm going to try to get myself straightened out. I've been impatient with the kids, have been in a fog, and haven't been productive because of the sleep deprivation.

Here's my "to do" list for the day.
Call about biz insurance.
Call Nowak about helium for 3 River's Parade balloons.
Finishing photo shopping a shoot (about an hour away from being finished).
Work on photo shopping last shoot for about an hour.
Organize stacks of paperwork in kitchen.
Return a phone call about a wedding, and 3 important emails.
Work on order forms for class reunion that I'm shooting in 2 weeks for board approval.
Balance the checkbook.
Pay bills.
Finish pricing garage sale items.
Order buttons/dog tags for army fams.
Laundry
Dishes
Sweep/mop
Go to post office,Target, bank, grocery
Order gaffers tape and a cable release online.

I have another list of things to finish in the next week, but these are today's items. I suppose since it's 11:00am, and I'm just now eating my Lucky Charms that I should get started. If only I had gone to sleep earlier.....okay, have to focus. I'm off to be productive.

Army families

I have a couple of friends that are going through extremely difficult situations right now. These situations are being compounded by the fact that their husbands are 7000 miles away.

Doing all of the housework/yardwork, managing the finances, being responsible for all the decision making, disciplining the kids, feeling all alone even when you are surrounded by friends and family, feeling sick when you miss a phone call or chance to IM, worrying about their wellbeing, seeing your children long for their daddy, and missing them yourself so much that it's hard to breathe is extremely difficult. But add a crisis to that situation, and it's enough to rattle anyone's foundation.

We are blessed to have each other to talk to, to cry with, and most of all to understand. We have bonded quickly, and will be lifelong friends. We joke that we'll be telling the same old deployment stories to each other when we are 90 years old! We are so proud of our soldiers, our children, and each other. But we need prayers. Please keep my friends in your prayers. Please keep all military families in your prayers.

Camping at Potato Creek

Guilt

I absolutely hate being the one making all of the decisions. I think it's making me less decisive. Every year, we go camping with mom and Tim, and the Brinkers. We LOVE camping. We bought a pop-up in 2005 and planned on getting many years of use out of it.

2 years ago we stepped out of our comfort zone (Pokagon) and went to Clifty Falls. About 36 hours after we got there, I came down with a terrible case of the stomach flu. I spent 3 days down, and then we left and came home. Last year we planned a trip to Turkey Run. 2 weeks before our trip, Robert's unit was put on alert. He was going to have to go to training the week of our trip. Ugh. What do I do? Robert's training was in town, so he'd be home in the evenings (if he were going to be out of town, it would have been a no-brainer). I decided to go anyways. The Sunday before we were scheduled to leave, my grandma had a pulmonary embolism and was flown from Ohio to Parkview. We spent the week at her bedside in the ICU and her funeral was the day we were to leave for Turkey Run. The Millers and Brinkers left for camping right after the funeral, but I decided not to go. The alert and week with grandma had drained me.

This year, we planned our camping trip to Potato Creek, leaving after church on Father's Day. When we popped up our camper to check it out, it had been taken over by some alien fungus that had eaten through the canvas. Tim took it in to check it out and the cost of the repair would be the same amount that we paid for the camper. So we would have to rent a camper for about 300 bucks for the week. And spend about 160 bucks on a site, and then gas, and food. And I would have to pack everything for the 4 of us, set up, tear down, clean out and return the camper. Probably taking up a good 12 days of my life. Unfortunately I can't spare the money or the 12 days right now. So I made the decision not to go. I am both relieved and sad that we will be missing out on another family tradition. But without Robert here to go with us, it just isn't the same. I'm holding out hope that we'll get to go to the Dunes this October.

One thing that I hate more than making decisions is constantly second-guessing myself. I have to remind myself that these aren't life-altering decisions. I'm not taking anyone off of life-support! It's so easy to get sucked into the guilt vortex. I'm going to hang on by my toenails if I have to and not let it suck me in!

Poor, honey.

I finally got to IM with Robert for a while yesterday. He said they've been working 15 hour days, and the sandstorms are relentless. It's been a week since we've talked on the phone, so I hope I can talk to him sometime soon. Usually around day 10 is when I start to go thru withdrawals. I told him to take some pics around the base so we can see where he eats, works, lives, etc. Please keep him in your prayers. They have a very high-profile mission , and right now tempers and nerves are being tested.

Mother nature is not nice.

Our power went out at 6pm on Monday, June 9th and still isn't on as of 3pm on June 10th. AEP said that we are on the bottom of electrical totem pole due to the small number of homes in our addition without power (there were 30,000 outages in FT Wayne out as of 10:00pm last night). I am SOOOOOOOOOOO behind on photoshopping. UGH! We are at mom and Tim's now (of course all my pics are on my PC at home). I might just go get it and bring it here so I can start getting caught up. I'm trying to be patient.....have I mentioned that I HATE waiting?

Healthy healthy healthy

Most of you know that I'm on a quest to get healthy. I have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and two autoimmune diseases: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Pernicious Anemia. And this year the big FOUR O. So, I've been on a mission to turn my life around, get healthy, and look hot when my dear hubby comes home next year (wink wink). I exercise 5 days a week doing weights, circuit training, Tai Bo, The Firm's Absculpt, Cardio Sculpt, Body Sculpt, biking, hiking, etc. No pop (or caffeine) since March, smaller portions, lots of fresh fruits and veggies, no late night snacking, no drinking empty calories. Since New Year's day I've lost 31 pounds and hope to hit 40lbs by the end of the month. I would love to lose 10 more after that, then tone and sculpt from there;) I feel FANTASTIC! I have more energy, I've been sleeping better, I'm more patient with the kids....exercise is a great stress reliever. I don't crave sweets now. I haven't had ONE candy bar since March! I used to eat one everyday! But I haven't cut sugar out completely. If I really want something sweet, I let myself have it (which has only been about 5 times in 3 mos). But I don't mindlessly eat it anymore. The weight is getting harder to take off, but I'm up for the challenge. I just want to challenge all of you to live up to your physical potential! I've filled the void that I WAS filling with food with self-satisfaction. Exercising has helped me not to stress-eat. And I don't eat out of boredom anymore. I hope this motivates you to be the healthiest you that you can be:)

My hair.........

Most of you know that I turned 4o last week. So, I decided to celebrate by donating 13 inches of my hair to Locks of Love and coloring it for the first time in my life:) Here's the new me:



Shout out to Diane Shockney for taking the second pic:)

Happy Anniversary, honey!

Today is our 16th wedding anniversary. I got a phone call and flowers:) He got to go on an ammo blow today. I got to do laundry. Hardly seems fare, huh? lol. Anyways, here are the gorgeous flowers that I got. I'll post again in a couple of days with an update when they open:)

Bills....

...oh, I hate paying the bills. I hate balancing the checkbook, and I hate having to make the decisions as to what to spend the money on. Finances stressed me out more than anything the last deployment, and I'm determined to get on top of things this time and not let it overwhelm me. I can't believe how many medical bills we have. Brennan had 2 surgeries between Sept and Nov and I had mine in March. When seeing the bills my first instinct was to panic...but then I realized how thankful that I am to have insurance. The surgeries ranged from 17,000.00 - 24,000.00 each and we only pay 20% of each one. We are very blessed to have incomes, insurance, and great medical care in this country. So I'll pay my 20% and try not to complain anymore. We truly are blessed to live in this country.

Training photos-he sent no captions, so I made up my own:)

Rough week

I'm a bottler. That's just how I am. But I think I cried more this week than I have in a year. I'm not sure exactly why. Robert called me on Mother's Day for the first time since he arrived in theater, and I was SO glad to talk to him:) But a song on the radio later that day hit me. And then a Mash episode one day, and IM'ing with him trying to decide whether he should come home for 2 weeks of R&R this summer, or save that two weeks until he gets home. And I don't even know what caused the other episodes. I am a control freak, and I do NOT like being in control of my emotions. I know....it's not healthy to keep your feelings inside. But that's just how I am.

Last week Dan realized that the pipes in my tub were leaking, so my dear friend Wayne came and fixed that. Wednesday Mikala threw a sticky toy up and it stuck to the ceiling in our hallway, and she broke the light fixture trying to "unstick" it with a broom. And our hot water heater started leaking Friday and ruined the floor in our hallway. Wayne came and fixed the leak on Saturday. I spent an hour and a half talking to 7 people at our mortgage company Friday trying to straighten out our mortgage (they have a special program for military that lowers your interest rates on loans to 6%). It has caused them great confusion. I was told 5 different payment amounts and 2 different due dates depending on who I talked to. I received a letter saying that the new amount was in effect as of March 9th, but they said their system hasn't updated yet, and would reject that amount????? But that's a whole blog within itself. Okay, maybe the emotions this week were founded.

Updated New Orleans pics.